Drowning in Grievances

Painfully Accepting and Embracing my Flaws

Muhammad Rizqullah
2 min readAug 20, 2022


Through the journey in life, sometimes we encounter the moment that flashed before their eyes — the unbearable questions that we refuse to answer and yet still follow until now.

Out of a sudden, these questions just appear and haunt your thought.

Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash

Have you ever thought of something that embarrassed you in the past?
Have you ever thought about the mistakes you made in the past?
Have you ever blamed yourself for the mistakes you made in the past?
Have you ever refused to forgive the mistakes you made in the past?

These kinds of questions hold me back from stepping up and moving on — surrounded by the misery thoughts in the past that we can’t deal with.

The imperfection, the flaws, and the society’s standards that we can’t fulfill strikes directly hit the nail on the head.

The moment that shivering, trembling, shaking, and denying it happens all at the same time.

And will be followed by a moment “trying to convince yourself this is okay.”

Have you ever experienced this before?

If you have ever experienced this before, you are not alone cause I have been there and might still be here for quite some time.

Grasping all my emotion. Absorbing all the pain. Embracing all the imperfection.

This is the part in your journey when you realize you are hurting, but still alive; you can still feel these emotions. This sucks, but this is the moment that we need to be grateful for; we can still feel alivenot dead inside.



Muhammad Rizqullah

Interest in Writing, Branding, Partnership, and Human Resource.