Incapability of Me—Expressing My Feeling
Here in the south Jakarta, the loneliest day of the week is approaching and with it come nature’s daily masterpiece, raining at the dusk. Its the time when you falling into eternal serenity.
On Sunday — nearly to five o’clock — the coffee shop full of people are busy with their life — some of them reading a book, enjoying the coffee, waiting for the rain, and I keep thinking about her. Killing the time waiting for Monday just because to be able to meet her after works.
I sit on the rooftop with the view covered by trees and direct to the sky. The wind is slowly biting and I am stirring the coffee as in the way how to distract my anxiety, the long black coffee that won’t be turbid — the strong dark colour — with the white milk that has been poured in.
“I feel terrified
“I feel depressed”
Whatever I tried to express how grateful I am for having her by my side is never enough. Because I feel this is the dream that I used to dreamt, the imagination that I always wonder at nap time.
She makes me able to feel the warmth of closeness of having a depth and meaningful relationship.
I wish I could lay off next to her every night.
I wish I could be able to let her know how much I love her.
I wish I could be able to let her feel the same way
Because she’s the only thing that’s worth what life is worth.